Sleep is the farthest thing as she stayed awake all night thinking about everything going on in her life. When was the last day she smiled? But that question didn't matter when her dignity was always reminding her of her misery. All night she did nothing. Neither cried nor put her brain to think anything. Resting her head back to the wall she stared ahead numbly and blankly.
Morning happened and she still sat the same and refused to eat any food. Her eyes stared dead in front of her as she remained like a lifeless doll. She was too tired. Tired of asking him. Begging him. Pleading him. Most of the time they face each other it is always him bullying her while she pleads with him.
How many times did he assault her? How many times did he harass her? How many times did he ask her to sleep? And how many times she has to face this from him. Can't she get rid of him for once and all? But how? At the price of her virginity and dignity.
A thought crossed her mind to just die. But she is too cowardly to die or afraid that he would leak her pictures even after her death. It doesn't matter if she is dead or alive but those photos shouldn't be out. They shouldn't. At any stance.
Then what should she do? Sleep with him. S-sleep w-with him?
Finally at last a lone tear passed from her left eye as her face morphed into grief and her face fell in defeat as she sobbed. Her hand fisted her saree as her body jolted in sobs.
Her one day was spent in the room and the doors were left open after he put the plate for dinner for her and left the room. Having no food from morning she numbly ate little food for her needed energy.
And the next afternoon she finally decided to step out of the room. She swayed on her step as soon as she stood up. Taking a bath she walked out slowly to the kitchen and found him cooking something. She didn't proceed and stood there looking at him brokenly.
He doesn't even have any guilt or pity toward her for making her go through all this. He is all casual in the kitchen carrying his work while leaving her to cry at her misery.
Feeling a stare he looked to his side and found her standing numbly.
"You came"?
He questioned as he put the lid on the container and walked to her where she stood. Stopping a few steps away he just stared at her before asking.
"You want to say something"?
He asked and there is a glow on his face. As if he knows the answer and he is gonna get what he wants. As if he won it. And despite him being handsome he was disgusting to her.
Her throat clogged as it felt difficult to speak. Or more like utter those words. She looked away as her eyes started to get misty. Her breaths started to shorten. Soon she realized she wasn't yet ready to say her decision and turned away ready to go back to the room when he clutched her hand and pulled her as she weakly fell on his chest.
"Say it".
He demanded as his warm hand snaked around her waist smoothly, looking down at her while she avoided eye contact glaring at his shoulder with angry tears.
"Just say it, Aasha".
Her mouth remained sealed as she pressed her lips into a thin line restricting the tears in her eyes.
"Come on".
He whispered.
"Y-you (Her voice shook with a throaty cry before she controlled herself).
"You are the worst despicable man ever".
His fingers gently brushed her hair behind her ear.
"And"?
She looked up at him and glared at him fiercely. Her tears at the bay shone in hatred.
"Don't think you will get away from karma... after what you are doing to a woman".
His stare hardened on her for longer seconds before cooling down and smiling at her.
His thoughts eating up.
Is karma only for women? Where was the karma when it happened to him?
"Is that a yes Aasha? Hmm"?
He asked as he tucked her chin up with his fingers as he pressed his lips on her and she shut her eyes tightly in disgust. Pulling away he snuggled his nose in her crook as he inhaled her scent. Her skin crawled up in disgust as her body froze and her hands fisted trying to control as they were itching to push him away.
"Your every sin is being noted up there. You'll be sent to hell for doing this to me".
He sniggered at her as his body vibrated against her.
"If I'm getting you at the cost of hell, then I'll take it as heaven baby".
*****
Sitting on the bed she aimlessly looked out the window as she leaned on the headboard on her sideways. Her face became puffy with swollen eyes as she cuddled herself.
She gave up.
She gave herself to him.
At this point, she doesn't know what she is protecting and at what cost.
Protecting her dignity at dignity's cost?
Why is this happening to her?
Was it part of her fate? Is this the toughest test of her life? Will anything be good after this?
Will it be?
Not at all. Nothing will be the same after she is broken. She has to find and pick up her broken pieces to fix herself.
This might not have happened if her husband was alive maybe.
She crumbled herself more into a ball and let out silent tears until she heard the sound of the door.
Lifting her face she barely glanced back at the door through her shoulder and turned front. Sneakily her hands rubbed away the tears when he came forward and looked away from him.
"Here".
He said as he placed the dress on the bed just beside her before looking back at her.
"Wear this for the night. I would like to see you in this dress".
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